Doodled to look like ME, not Jesus Christ in case you're confused. Although Jesus came back too, one time....

My fellow internets,

Jon Smith is officially getting back on the wagon with the Association. This is the first of many steps toward reconciliation. My statement to the NBA is thus: “You don’t have to sleep on the couch anymore. …Let’s stay together for the kids.” So I’m not going out of my way to watch NBA basketball but I’ll treat it like anything else on TV or the internet, I will pay as much attention to it as any other sports fan without an NBA franchise would(to those who don’t know me, I am a Seattleite. Born and raised Sonics fan, pretty bitter).

Nothing has changed between myself and the likes of David Stern and Howard Schultz. Those creeps can eat a truckload of dicks in Hell, I really hope I never see Howard Schultz around town…don’t know what I’d do. Slim chance of that though, as I have no life and rarely go downtown. So you’re lucky Howie!

So as I slowly re-acclimate myself with Napoleon’s traveling circus, I will need to lean once again upon Todd Slater: the nerd prince of basketball, to help navigate these murky waters. 

The following is an Email conversation between Todd and I:

ME: It cannot be denied that due to officiating or this generation of players, this league is soft. Not nearly as aggressive, not nearly as tough to score especially in the paint as it was in the glory days of Jordan/Magic/Bird BUT It’s nice to see one young man taking advantage of this generations soft defense: BLAKE GRIFFIN. How’s that for a segue?? This kid is the closest thing to Shawn Kemp we’ve seen since….Shawn Kemp. Not quite as powerful but just as electrifying and unstoppable, more athletic.
Is this the usual cock tease fans get from the Clippers every 3-4 years or do you think Blake can break through and make the Clip show a contender?

Todd: Well, they haven’t had a tease this big in a long while.  I have to say I’d exercise *some* caution regarding Blake and here’s why:  I’m weary of freak athletes because when the hops fade they fade fast.  If your game revolves around jumping over everyone in the gym you’re going to deal with alot of wear and tear on the treads.  Your chances of getting injured exponentially increase if you play the way he does year after year.  Remember how different Vince Carter’s game was when he came into the league versus now?  To Vince’s credit he’s still a useful player, but Air Canada doesn’t fly nearly as high as it used to.  Blake’s doing the right thing, he’s the best athlete on the court and he uses it to his advantage every possession.  In the offseason, he needs to develop a better mid-range game and continue to build his fundamentals so that he’s ready to evolve into something else in 6-7 years or maybe sooner should an injury occur.  I’d trade great fundamentals for athleticism every time tho… see Tim Duncan and Dirk Nowitzki.

ME: Wanted to start with Blake because that’s kind of the catalyst for my getting back into NBA fandom. What else is there to be excited about, what’s Todd Slater excited about? Specific players or teams getting hot? Is there a dark horse you like to win this year? Seems like the Celtics and Lakers are old and vulnerable.

The Lakers will turn it on when they need to like always.  Jerry West had an interesting quote about their defense this week: “If there’s a loose ball now, how often do they get it? The reason you ‘can’t play defense’ is because you can’t! …I don’t think the Lakers will be good for much longer. You can keep a car running for a long time by changing the tires, etc. You can’t change a player’s tires.”

I think it’s Celts and Spurs in the finals.  Spurs win it all.

Todd: This guy in Cali runs it, I’ll make sure you get in next year if you want.

ME: How are your Mav’s doing?

Todd: Kinda just trucking along.  I think they make a splash at the trade deadline.  I’m confident Cuban will always put out a quality product.

ME: Hey is Cuban involved in the UFL?? That’s his league right? I think it kinda has a chance, and will benefit from a lockout in the NFL.

Todd: Well, he’s suing them right now for 5 million for an unpaid loan so I dunno where he stands.  UFL fantasy football?  That would be hilarious… gotta get our fix somehow.

ME: Shit, I got dibs on Maurice Clarett!

Given you did a GaGa poster, thought you’d like to know I’m doing a Ke$ha poster….

So I’m watching this Mavs/Celtics game tonight, who is this small foreign looking Guard you have?…I’m not talking about Jason Kidd, Ha!

Todd: That my friend is Jose Juan Barea, better known as the Puerto Rican AI (Allen Iverson), he goes by JJ for short.